I’m normal…really!

How about a rousing game of “Have you ever?”…do you know that game?  A group stands in a circle with one person in the middle who says a statement about something they’ve done or something that has happened to them and anyone in the rest of the group who has had the same experience scrambles around the circle to find another place to stand, leaving one person left in the middle to say another statement.  Okay, here we go:

Have you ever gone to buy bread at the store and all five loaves on the rack were moldy?
Have you ever bought balloons for a birthday party and forgot to blow them up?
Have you ever made bread (remember the bread at the store was moldy) that didn’t rise, so you made pizza crust and bread sticks instead?
Have you ever had moths fly out of your broccoli crowns as you cut them up only to spend the next half hour ripping apart and rinsing the many unhatched cocoons from the rest?
Have you ever had the lights go out while you were playing “I Spy”?
Have you ever made homemade saltines, wheat thins, hamburger buns, cinnamon rolls, corn chips and tortillas?  (the More With Less cookbook rocks!)

Have you ever had to boil water to wash dishes because the hot water works in all other faucets except the kitchen?
Have you ever shimmied up a papaya tree to pick one and get back down with no injuries?
Have you ever wished you were “back home” with your friends, but not want to leave your new home and new friends?

Well, since coming to Malawi, I (Becky) can say that all of these things are true in my life.  Many of these are pretty humorous in hindsight, but there are plenty of others I could list to show other differences in life here from “back home” in PA.  I’ve been reading a book on culture shock lately.  It has been very validating to read as I go through the process of getting used to a culture other than my own.  It’s helped me say “no really, I’m normal to feel this way and it’s okay”.

The book is also helpful in suggesting how to get through culture shock, of course.  However, I would argue (at this point, anyway) that I’m not experiencing culture “shock” so much as culture “stress”.  Many day-to-day differences aren’t all that shocking to me, but after a while they start wearing on me.  One example is the constant noise we hear.  It is never quiet here.  In our first weeks, these sounds were either intriguing or even scary, but now, although many of them have become a newly accepted normal for me, others wear on me.  During the day you have nearly constant rooster crows (at first, I thought I was hearing our Fisher Price barn make barnyard sounds all the time, but then realized that we didn’t bring the barn, they were real!), the sound of other people’s babies crying (yes, mine does that too), children playing in another language, the general hum and clatter of people going about their daily routines, the occasional engine and horn honking of a vehicle in the distance, the music blasting from somewhere down the hill, the Muslim call to prayer, dogs barking or howling, children climbing trees to look over our wall and ask for papayas…

Then, at night, the sounds continue with someone preaching over a loud speaker somewhere almost every night, dogs howling together across the city, occasional drumming from initiation ceremonies (?), leaves and birds landing on our metal roof, music and people yelling from the bars down the hill, someone dinging on a flagpole (?) to wake people up in the night to eat during Ramadan (this is over now, though)…

There’s a lot of noise in the states, you might say.  A lot of why I’m hearing so much is because we live in a warmer climate where we keep the windows open most of the day, so sounds come in more.  Then, even when the windows are closed, the air vents in every exterior wall of the house let sounds in – but they also let cool air in and keep mosquitoes out during the night!

Noises are just one source of “culture stress”.  There is also the language barrier, especially with children who have not learned English in school yet.  There is the constant question of what is appropriate in this culture.  Should I introduce myself or wait to be introduced?  Should I be known by my first name or as “Mai (Mama) Owen”? As a woman, should I greet a man on the road or wait for him to greet me?  Should I greet you and ask how your family is doing and remark on the beautiful day first or can I just say what I came to say?  Because there are so many opportunities to make a fool of myself or possibly insult someone else, there is a different level of stress in daily interactions.  Of course, I could just stay in my house and strive not to interact with anyone, but the book does not suggest that 🙂  Just the opposite, actually. 

Get out there!  Make mistakes!  Learn from them!  My Malawian neighbors will (and have already) be thrilled that I am trying to engage and will care for me as I blunder along.  In language learning training we were told to become the town clown.  Let everyone laugh at the funny things that come out of your mouth as you attempt to speak their language.  They’ll like having you around and they’ll help you because they can see that you’re trying.  Well, at least they will as long as you show improvement! 

So, here’s to being the town clown and not even knowing it! 

And here’s to crying at seemingly nothing when a thousand little somethings add up and amount to culture stress.  It’s okay, crying is normal.  And in the midst of a thousand little things adding up to stress, I have a thousand little dreams of how God will work in and through me and all those around me.

So, here’s to hoping in a faithful God!