There are good days and there are not so good days…even bad days, dare I say it? Fridays are always challenging as it is our shopping day as well as one of our Chichewa lesson days (we have 2 each week). We shop once a week (sometimes less) to save on fuel and time. The kids are always tired out, Jonathan is spent from doing the driving, and I am spent from trying to figure out what of my grocery list is on the shelf that week as we stop at at least 3 stores to get all the groceries and understanding how much money we’re really spending when it rings up K7,500 ($23.44), K13,000 ($40.62) or even K26,000 ($81.25). Then we head straight into a Chichewa lesson for which I am ill prepared and feel stupid. There’s the honest truth. Put some screaming, hungry, tired children on top of it and I just can’t concentrate on anything. Curling up in a ball in my bed in a quiet room is where I long to be at that point.
Yesterday was one of those days (don’t worry, they’re bound to come, we understand that) when I just wasn’t sure things were working out well for us here. Micah has had a harder time lately in that he needs constant attention and love to feel secure, which I can understand, but is hard to do along with the rest of life. I think things are really starting to sink in for him – he’s realizing that things are going to stay different from what he’s used to. I haven’t yet formed a close friendship with a Malawian woman, which I am longing to do to learn about life here, practice Chichewa and be less lonely. With no one to practice Chichewa with, I’m just not getting it, so heading into another lesson after an exhausting and somewhat unfruitful shopping trip was just a bit too much for me. We just weren’t aware that it was an Islamic feast day and half the stores we wanted to visit were closed because they are Muslim owned. Then, I felt like I made some big mistakes in my attempts at communicating with a prospective house helper. I pray things will work out soon. Because of our busy day, Jonathan did not get to write his sermon and grade papers, so Saturday turns into a work day and therefore, a normal work day for me as well. Plus, we haven’t had water for 3 days…and no electricity for much of Friday. As each challenge piled on each other, it made for a bad day.
Today is Saturday! By 9:30 or 10:00am the kids were getting difficult and restless, as usual, so I decided to bring out a new game. It’s called bowling with milk bottles. I’ve been saving up our liter bottles from the fresh milk we get from the creamery in hopes of using them for some creative purpose someday. Today is the day! I decided we should do this new game in the driveway in hopes of attracting the attention of neighborhood children so we can get to know them better. Our first attempt at bowling didn’t work because the bottles were too lightweight, so I said “let’s get your buckets and collect the fruit (non-edible green things that drop from a big tree just outside our gate) in the alley and weigh down the bottles that way.” Micah went for it! Rachel always goes for it! So we headed out to gather fruit.
It didn’t take long to attract a group of children. Also, my (hopeful) friend and neighbor was outside, so we got to talking. The kids played very nicely (God is merciful) and I got to really talk with Naomi.
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| Playing just outside our gate |
Several weeks ago I had asked her to teach me to make a traditional Malawian meal – insima and relish. We had a miscommunication and still had not gotten together to do this. She said she has been waiting for me to stop by again. I said “oh, I thought you were too busy, so I didn’t stop by.” Communication is key!
At this point I got the milk bottles and showed the children that we wanted to put the fruit inside. Quickly done! Then we took them to a concrete slab in Naomi’s front yard and I ran in to get a ball to show them how to bowl. They loved it!
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| Notice, Rachel wants a turn – arms out and ready! |
In the background, I noticed Naomi bringing out a mat to sit on and veggies to prepare for relish. She was going to teach me how to cook right now! How great!
I breathed a quick prayer that the kids would not “expire” as I call it (deteriorate into crying, clinging and tantrums) before I could learn from her, for I assumed this would not be a quick and easy task. While she prepared the pumpkin leaves for the relish, we chatted on the mat in her yard. I practiced what little Chichewa I could muster and we got to know each other. Thankfully, she speaks English fairly well, too! Meanwhile, I was impressed how Micah was doing as he played with the other children, half of which didn’t seem to understand English at all. Usually Micah gets very frustrated when he can’t understand something or if he is not understood by others. It didn’t seem to get in the way today – what a blessing! And Rachel…well, she gets along with anyone and lets anyone hold her, so she got toted around by several children and carried back to me from time to time (at which point she would quickly crawl off to play some more).
Here’s the quick version of my cooking lesson:
First, cut up the greens, usually pumpkin leaves and some other leaves she couldn’t translate for me.
Next, start a fire and boil the greens in water.
Pulverize some groundnuts (peanuts) and add to the veggies with some salt and tomatoes.
Cook and set aside.
Next, heat some water for insima.
Gradually add maize (corn) flour to hot water.
Keep adding and stirring until it boils and then stir quickly and constantly until it is quite thick.
Use pieces of insima to pick up relish and enjoy! She said not to let it cool too much – they don’t like eating it cool. But it is way too hot to pick up at first, so it’s a balance. She also said they like to have two relishes in each meal, usually one with chicken, fish or eggs, but they didn’t have any today. That was quite fine. After all, she owns the chickens that run around our neighborhood and I knew it would take a while to take it from running around, to cooked on my plate! 🙂
So, after a day almost void of hope, God answered my plea and gave me a day filled with just what I needed: a real chance for my children to connect with Malawian children and hope of a deeper relationship for me with a Malawian neighbor. Oh, and a great lunch! God is merciful and I am thankful!
Wonderful story. My guess is, only because it happens to me too, that the process of writing about this hard time has been a good way for you to reflect and articulate to your discouraged heart (as well as share with our possibly discouraged souls) that God's faithful grace is quite concrete and surprising after all. We should keep this post and read it on our next exhausting day. And I hope you can keep finding the quiet time and space to write. Blessings and shalom.
Thanks for being honest about your bad days, Becky – this one sounds like a douzy! So glad that God gave you such a good day to follow it – and the hope that comes with it. Continuing to lift you up in prayer!
Very happy this happened for you…and hope and pray you continue to experience God's mercy in the everyday grind. Have the feeling you will (someday) be a popular house in the neighborhood with things like milk bottle bowling going on. The children will soon find you a favorite!
By the way – gretta speaking of course!
Yes, I know it's always Gretta, my faithful commenter 🙂 If David ever comments, he'll have to make it obvious it's him!
Loved your reflection and your honesty. No matter what part of the world, we all have moments like that. Thanks for writing about it. It was a blessing to read. We had our missions conference today at Grantham. I was in childcare, so I missed seeing your video, but I hope to see it sometime soon. I heard it was great and people really enjoyed seeing it. Know that your are remembered, loved and prayed for back home. Peace to you! -Lisa