The Goin' Owens

500 Kwacha = $1.52

On one week’s shopping trip in Blantyre, we arrived at the meat store 15 minutes before it opened. While we waited in the truck, we noticed a very nice car parked at a ramp in front of the store.  There was a small Malawian flag perched on the front left side of the hood.

Becky :  Who do you think that is for?  It’s a very nice car.
(as a couple of nicely dressed people put things in the car)

Jonathan: It’s probably the owner of the store.

Becky:  No, I think it’s someone with the government.

A man dressed in fine Muslim clothes came out to the car and people started flocking to him, running from all over the parking lot and reaching to him.

Becky: What’s going on?

Jonathan:  Maybe it’s a Muslim giving alms.

Becky:  Really?  No…

The man slipped into the car and was driven away.  The crowd dispersed, everyone smiling and some laughing at the spectacle of what just happened.  As one man came to his car parked next to us I addressed him from the truck window:

Becky:  What just happened there?!?!

Man: That was —–.  He owns the store (chain) and is a minister of Parliament.

Becky:  Oh…we were both right!

Man:  He was giving out money — 500’s.  It’s not good, though.  Handouts kill people.  They get lazy and can’t do anything for themselves.  Why does he do that?  If he has that much money, why doesn’t he just hire more people?

Well, there we heard it straight from a Malawian!  “Handouts kill people.”  What a powerful statement.  Each time someone begs for food or money we have a decision to make.  Sometimes we give.  Sometimes we don’t.  Sometimes we feel like we’ve been taken advantage of.  Sometimes we feel regret and selfishness.

We don’t have the answers to the problem of poverty or unemployment.  Undoubtedly at times we are part of the problem, even unknowingly.  But we are challenged because Jesus did not directly teach on handouts.  In fact, He gave some himself!  When I felt bad after giving to a beggar at our gate, Jonathan said “I’d rather err on the side of generosity than stinginess.  Jesus said to forgive 70×70…are we to give 70×70 as well?”  Where’s the line?  What’s the balance?  These are difficult questions that have become almost daily for us.

I’m sure we haven’t and won’t respond to each person and situation perfectly, but we pray that God’s light and love will shine through us and that His name will be honored by our actions and inaction…words and silence…Lord, give us the wisdom we need in each moment and the courage to obey.

Jonathan teaching his Hebrew class

Yay for the opportunity to teach at EBCoM.  It’s been a good year of growing into the job of instructor to the Bible students studying here.  

Some of the kids from Sunday School

  

Yay for the opportunity (for Becky) to teach Sunday School (ages 4-8) to the children at our regular church.  There are four teachers who rotate on a weekly basis, so Micah doesn’t only get Mommy as a teacher 🙂

catching water during water shortage (thankfully, it was during rainy season!)

 

Our house and terraced lawn (avocado and papaya trees too!)

The view from our house (before the garden was planted last year)

Yuck for all the noise (music, speakers, choruses of howling dogs, alarms, etc.) we hear from the city-village during all hours of the day and night, depending on the events going on. 

Yay for fresh mangos, bananas, papayas, pineapples and many veggies!

The mangoes you see here cost us K850 = $2.66 at the time!  They are kinda like Malawian zucchini in how plentiful they are in season 🙂

  

We just thought this “promise” was funny… “We manufacture, you do the farming” Gee, thanks!

• You go to a filling station (aka gas station) to pay for electricity credits.  You take a password home, punch it into your meter and then you will have electricity to use!  If you run out, the lights (and everything else) turn off!

• You don’t have cell phone plans here.  You buy a phone.  You buy air time from a store, or more likely, a guy on the side of the street who sells air time cards.  You buy some, scratch off the code, enter into your phone and you can talk or text or use data!  If it runs out mid-conversation, it cuts you off.  Texting costs less than talking!

• Although there are robots (traffic lights) at some intersections, there are more often roundabouts (after all, this was a British Protectorate).  And of course, we drive on the left side of the road and shift with the left hand.  It’s not as difficult as it might first seem.

• The seasons of Pennsylvania.
•  Libraries!!!  It’s hard not being able to check out 10 new and different books each week or so from the public library for the kids!  But, we have found a couple good used bookstores.  The books are in rough shape, but the price is right and they still serve the purpose of reading, learning and inspiring the imagination and creativity!  The only thing is, once you get the books, you own them whether you like them or not.  Public libraries allow room for error in this department.
• Moms Together – the group of moms that meets together at Grantham BIC every other week with childcare provided!  I reallymiss you all and the opportunity to step away from our jobs as moms to discuss, share, evaluate, reimagine how we can better parent our little ones and take care of ourselves and spouses.
• Sing ‘n Play – also at Grantham BIC – a fun time of playing with kids at different stations around the gym and connecting with moms every Friday morning.
• Taize worship services
• Small group Bible study/fellowship
• Lower stress shopping – not having vendors waiting at your door as you park at a store to sell you their produce, mops, thumb drives, windshield wipers, belts, etc.  “No thanks” doesn’t cut it for these guys!  There are also often beggars roaming the streets or waiting at red lights or parking areas to ask for money.  There are just a lot more decisions being asked of you when you go shopping, it seems – and not all are easy to make.
• Semi-sweet chocolate chips.  No chocolate chips can be found here, and most other chocolate is milk chocolate.
• U.S. money and using credit or debit cards.  For a typical trip to the grocery store the bills we pay with pile up to be around an inch thick!  Kinda crazy…and they certainly don’t fit in my wallet!  Some stores do take credit, but we haven’t done that much as there is always a conversion fee. 

Our “marble chute” made of Duplos and using wooden beads to roll down!

For Becky – the average day varies as any stay-at-home mother will know.  Rise with the kids (earlier than desired), play, read books, prep meals, wash dishes, do the laundry, potty train, build absolutely anything out of Duplos….well, you get the idea.  This year we’ve begun some casual preschool homeschooling which has amounted to lots of quality story reading, curiosity-driven learning and continuing to answer countless questions about this world we live in from a 4-year-old’s perspective!

Our house helper comes two mornings  a week to help out with the dishes and cleaning which has really helped us keep our heads above water as well as practice our Chichewa and ask random cultural questions.  Sometimes we’ll get out to visit friends or visit one of the handful of playgrounds we’ve found around this area. 

What do people’s clothes look like in Malawi?

Mostly, Malawian clothes look just like what you’re used to seeing.   A lot of the clothes here come from “you” when you donate to Salvation Army or similar organization.  So, Gap, Old Navy, Nike and the Limited are spotted on a daily basis!  Most people purchase used clothing in the market rather than new garments at stores.

Pre-teen to adult aged women generally wear skirts with a chitenji wrapped over it.  A chitenji is essentially a 2 yard cut of (really neat Malawian designed) fabric wrapped around them as a layer used as an apron.  Traditional dress is seen more frequently on Sundays at church or worn by governmental officials (like the president, who is a woman).  

One thing that surprised us is how you can see a man step out of a mud brick house with a grass roof in a three piece suit, “dressed to impress!”  

What kind of weather are you having there?

We learned about how things like weather/seasons and the direction the toilet flushes are opposite in the southern hemisphere back in grade school, but now we actually know it to be true! 

When we got here last August it was starting to warm up quite a bit as we entered the really dry season and Malawian summer from September to October.  October is the hottest month of the year, waking up to 80°F and getting up to at least 100°F during the day, sometimes by 10am.

Often, an early morning temp reading…we keep the freezer stocked with homemade papaya/banana/strawberry/mango popsickles and get out the kiddie pool periodically!

The rainy season starts around November with much needed relief from the heat, but also bringing in mold-inducing humidity.  We’ve found mold on our wooden rolling pin, in closets, covering the car seats, on the high chair and of course on food.  “Rainy” does not convey the awesome magnitude of a downpour here.  It is amazing to watch, hear and even feel the heavy rain pound the ground and rush down the gutters (which are on the ground to catch rain from the roof and channel rain on the ground).  You can usually hear it coming across the landscape.  A downpour may last a few minutes or a few hours.

We are currently experiencing winter which runs from May through August.  It’s cool and dry with an occasional shower and cloud cover.  We didn’t believe if before coming but we do wear long sleeves, jackets, fleeces, long pants and sometimes, wool socks!  It’s that cold…er, rather, our bodies feel it as much colder than you’d think, since we’re getting used to the heat here.  “Cold” is around 55-69°F, particularly with no heating system in houses here.  We layer on the blankets at night and soak in the sun during the day! 

We have MANY friendly lizards living in our terrace walls! They’re sorta fun to have around :o)

One big part of our first year in Malawi has been homesickness.  It can hit at any moment without notice and through the strangest things.  But mostly, it crops up as we’re enjoying our children’s squeals as they chase each other up and down the hallway or say something cute at the dinner table or do something new.  It hits the hardest, curiously enough, during the good times.  You might think the opposite would be true, that we’d be the most homesick when we were annoyed at how things are done differently here or when particularly challenging situations come up.  Homesickness can show its face then too. 

Sundays are the hardest.  I (Becky) am not sure why.  Maybe it’s the more relaxed pace or the familiar meals we’d always have on Sundays growing up:  toasted cheese, tomato soup, popcorn and something sweet.  We try to have these comfort foods here as well, but bake our own bread, buy cheese (shred it to make it stretch longer since all cheese is expensive here!), make tomato soup from scratch and bake sweets from scratch.  But it’s worth it!

Today was no different.  I was making dinner and it hit me.  The tears welled up.  The lump grew in my throat.  I missed having family nearby to call or visit…I began mixing up one of my “homesick foods” — brownies.

“Now I could really go for a big glass of Pennsylvania milk!” — Jonathan Long-life boxed milks and even fresh milk just don’t taste the same.

Often, when I’m homesick, I turn to “stress baking.”  This is not always wise.  Not that we consume that many sweets as a result, but when you’re stressed, you’re not always thinking straight.  So, the delightful, warm, comforting food you set out to make ends up burning, too tough, too crunchy…not quite what you had in mind, which makes you more stressed.  But, tonight, the brownies overcame all odds and turned out great!  They even got done before the power went out, as it often does on Sunday nights for a few hours.

I found this recipe several months ago and it hasn’t let me down once!  It’s worth sharing, because we’re not the only people that get homesick OR stressed – you may need this from time to time as well :o)

Best Brownie Recipe

Strangely enough, we haven’t heard many others talk about their homesickness here.  A few have.  Surely more people are homesick than let on, but then again, I’m realizing why I’m so very homesick.  I have roots.  Deep roots.  I grew up in the same town, moving only once, and that only being about a mile away.  I went to the same church from birth to the day I left for college.  The same family pastored that church that entire time.  My parents love me.  My brother and I have “always” gotten along (being a parent of toddlers, I know there were inevitably occasional fights!).  Even after getting married, I’ve lived within a few hours from most of my extended family.  Jonathan and I have always liked the idea of setting down roots.  It’s one of the things we “gave up” when answering “yes” to God calling us to Malawi.

Over this first year, we’ve begun to let our roots grow a little deeper here, but they are still young, shallow and even fragile.  It takes time and energy to engage a new place and people.  Do we risk building friendships with others who may leave in another year or two?  Do we dare set ourselves up for additional loss?  The expatriate community is quite transient in nature, most being committed to a two or three year term, some even shorter than that.  We’re in the same boat.  We don’t know if we’ll be here longer than our three year term, but we could be here for a lifetime.  Either way, we engage and befriend in hopes of sharing God’s love with others while we know them and while they’re close by.  At the same time, we let others serve us, befriending us, filling in a space that is hard to fill – not by replacing our family or friends back home, but by coming along side us as new, additional “family” and friends here.

No, not really.  Not that I enjoy breaking down in tears or missing out on family gatherings and happenings, but that each time I’m homesick, I remember how much I love and am loved.  A brief search online about missionary homesickness gave me advice to work more, avoid reading letters from home more than once, avoid looking at pictures from home and then work, work, work to avoid homesickness.  I do not like this advice.  I will not take it.  I am thankful for my home, my family, my friends.  I am also thankful for being able to serve in Malawi, build new friendships, and experience new things.  I did find some useful advice here: missionary homesick advice

No, I want those I love to book a flight on the next plane to come here!  I want them to see where we live, where we worship, where Jonathan teaches, where the kids play, meet the people we know and even the places we shop.  I want to share this new place, not leave it. 

So, we take it one day at a time.  We look forward to the visitors who will come and the Skype dates we are able to have.  We miss you, our family, friends, and churches who have been our support both near and far.  Thank you, we love you.

August 2012

Thank you to all who have prayed for us as we prepared to come, as we navigated moving across the world and living in a new-to-us culture, not to mention job transitioning into Jonathan’s first year of teaching!  Thank you to all who have supported us financially – we are reminded of your generosity each paycheck we receive and of God’s faithful provision in every area of life. 

August 2013

A Malawian wood carving we have in the center of our dining room table reminding us of our family of 4, on this journey together, with our focus on Christ, our Light and Salvation!